“Untitled (Snow i)” -- Looking at this one, right off the dome, the sale tag. I think this was (I guess you could probably say, still is, haven’t checked but HMU and I will check for u and let you know) the price tag on the CD copy of Peter Gabriel’s “So” that I bought at Everyday Music in Seattle, where the homie Nick worked. Fitting, now that I think about it, cos I remember watching a Behind The Music kinda thing on … Classic Albums is what it’s called, ya … on that album and PG talking about wanting to call it So because it was nice from a typography / design standpoint … just these two big letters … and, I mean, letters with great shapes. Anyway, that price tag goes way back to the first digital F. Music poster … the Tour Trippin’ one I did with Patrick … and I can’t remember if it was Patrick or Nick but one of the two of them (they lived together with Kyle and Amanda) obliged the request to scan and crop that thing and it was a real like “aww yeaa” moment. At this point in my own flyer-making journey, I was not in the zone of scanning anything yet (lol I’m still not, really) … so I guess I should say: I wasn’t yet in the zone of taking photos and cropping stuff, which is where I’m at now … but I think I had this feeling of like … could we make it more 3D somehow. This is also a poster for a set I was doing at …  idk if it was a Record Store Day thing or just their annual garage sale … but I was playing at Electric Fetus, a record store in Minneapolis where I’ve spent maybe more time in my life than any other establishment? Seems crazy to type but is definitely possible … been going there since I was, like, in middle school … and still going … and now I’m on that, like, R&D vibe where I just go in there and look at every CD under “Miscellaneous M Used” and pull it up on my phone and give it a listen … so when I go in there now it’s usually for a good hour or so. Decades. Anyway, if I remember right, I really wanted to use the price tag from this Chris DeBurgh CD (the one with “Lady In Red”) I got used at the Fetus … which says, like, “Digital Only” then $9.99. I mean … Digital Only. I wonder where that store was. Anyway, I think I tried to figure out how to do it … like took an iPhone pic and tried to put blank white rectangles around it in Pages … but the lighting was all uneven or whatever and I was like … man, there’s got to be another way … then remembered the Tour Trippin poster and … honestly, I feel like trying to crop something that is on an angle was just as complicated for me, lol. This one’s got the time of the show on it … nice compromise. O, I guess the artist name is on there, too. This is, I think, the only set that kids that I’ve worked with have seen me play. Two kids, Tobi and Asa (I was their nanny for a bit in 2016), who I love, came with their Mom (Dara, who rules) and Lillian (who also rules.) I remember being kind of nervous about this … like, “would the energy I’m tapping into during a set be off-putting or seem unnatural to them, as they know me?” I remember having a moment during the set, tho, where we made eye-contact while I was explaining something in between songs … and it was probably one of the most genuine exchanges I’ve had with someone from a stage, ever. It just felt extremely natural and was like … oh, yeah, this is as much a combo of the absurd and sincere as trying to explain a gym game about getting fired from a restaurant … or, like, trying to fish a golf ball out of the water-purifying system at a mini golf place. It’s funny to me, tho, because that set was 2018 … and I think about those performances as … I mean, yeah, “performances.” I think I was still really trying to figure out how to show up, live, in that place of deep intimacy that I cherish about making music … would definitely glimpse it, at times, in every set … and some sets more than others in those years (as, I would reckon, it is now) for sure … but there was a zone of joking around to look to be real with and respect the audience by avoiding what I saw as this unnatural thing where an unimportant performer (ie. me) tries to immerse themselves in the world of their songs. Like, “come on, we’re all here, there’s 18 of us … there are people on the clock right now at the record store who didn’t ask to see this … it’s 4:30 on a Sunday (jk I don’t know the day of the week cos it’s not on the flyer) … I’m gonna suddenly just lose myself?” I dunno … I guess I’m waxing poetic right now because I’m thinking about that moment of sincerity with the kids and feeling surprised by how much it seems worth savoring or cherishing as a genuine accomplishment and sign that my performances WERE sincere, then … rather than dunk on it as like, “o but see I’ve come so far,” as I was thinking I ought to do. My friend Elspeth often says, “Both things can be true.” I guess I’m grateful to have been able to continue to look for who I am. Try to be kind to yourself if you’re doing the same.


O right, ya I wanted to point out … I put on the instrumental, “A Lifetime Of Fabulous Prizes” (it’s a game show track I composed) and it’s about 1:28 long … and I was like, “Ok I’m gonna try and buy a CD before this song ends.” Left the stage, went out into the aisles, on some prize patrol type shit … IIRC, I actually had a more tricky time locating the CD than I thought. Got to the counter … I think maybe there was even someone in line, lol … the song ended as the credit card transaction was going through … so it was close. It was “Vision Songs” by Laraaji (… which, fittingly, I found myself with a deep desire to revisit, just this week. That CD is such a beautiful example of a slow burn. I remember thinking it was cool first few months of listening and definitely enjoying it … but, man, the way those melodies and the quality of his voice hits now … hoo baby ... )